Almost scared. Almost.

Like I said, I have spent the last two years in a bit of a limbo, a state of confusion, disappointment, anxiety worry hanging in the air all the time.

And now that I have some perspective, I am almost afraid. I find myself reaching for the closest piece of wood all the time these days, so I can touch it and drive the jinxes away. Because I have been so, so grateful these last few weeks.

Grateful for the interesting turns my work has taken and the metaphoric congratulations these turns have brought along since I upped and left a job that was everything comfortable and certain and most of all, reasonably well-paying.

Grateful for this happy place I am in right now, work-wise, family-wise, head-wise. Grateful for finding it in me to find closure on things that seemed to matter a whole lot but didn’t, not really. Grateful for the rock solid support and encouragement in R. Grateful for his companionship and how my heart fills with joy when he walks through the door after a long day. I have been told that this is a shocker after almost 9 years of being married. Oh well, I was never one for cliches, so..

I am grateful for rediscovering the friendship I have had with my mum ever since I can remember, a friendship I was beginning to forget under the many layers of should-do’s, the fear of disappointing her and other forms of unnecessary baggage. I am grateful for having shed that baggage.

I am grateful for the chance to once again, spot random tit-bits about places, plan travels based on cultural trivia, and know in my heart that the emptiness of travel plans is now over and done with.

I am grateful for being on the road again. Starting next month.

I am so, so grateful that I am afraid I will jinx all of it. I really hope not. TOUCHWOOD, DEAR GOD! And thank you :)

PS: Haathitime reminded me that all that I have been feeling these days? It has a name. It’s called gratitude :)

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