R recently told me, when discussing something on the lines of banging into walls or banging the car door too hard, that I don’t really give a shit. It wasn’t criticism, just an accurate observation articulated matter of factly in a passing conment, like only R can.
And he is right. I really, really don’t give a shit. Some of the biggest decisions in my life have been made in a somewhat grey area between caring too much and not caring two hoots. That’s the grey area I live in. It makes me do weird things, say things that might be somewhat unacceptable. And I like this grey spot. It’s all mine.