Been a while.. A couple of months ago, I made some really tall claims of starting a South East Asia trails update, but life took over. Writing for an audience seems like a distance memory now. Why would I still come and update on an open to public blog? Probably because I feel almost disabled when I pick up pen and paper now. Hardly something to gloat about.. Do I feel the need to change that? Not really. We all evolve. Shed some bad habits, shed some good ones. Do I have the bandwidth to dwell over these changes and evolution and whether it is doing me any good? Maybe, on a day when the pace of the commute is slow, the iPod has died down, and I don’t have much to do. Beyond that, the habit of dwelling over things, over analyzing, wondering if it is good for me – long gone too. I think I have finally and officially reached the end of the quarter life crisis. It was rather overdue too.
What else has been up? I guess a bit more of becoming average and acceptable. After telling myself that I am too cool (and young, if I may add) to have EMIs, to not spend all our money in the pursuit of pleasure, and more importantly, to buy a house, for as long as I can remember, we put down our savings in a house that seems like a house of dreams. In the city, between the greens, in a place which is pretty much City Of Joy in this household. What excited me more was that the purchase brought with itself a week in Bangalore.. In a green, pretty boutique hotel bang in the middle of the city-madness that is Indiranagar. If you are ever in Bangalore, need to stay in the city, and hate the straight lines and chemical-ness of regular hotels, try Escape.. The place lives up to its name. All white. And green. And unpretentious. And the terrace in the room was to die for in the Bangalore weather. Especially in the Bangalore weather.
Anyway, so we are house owners now. Does it change how I feel about myself and about life? Happier, more at peace, errrrm, prouder (like a lot of folks do)? Hahahaha. Wonder how long you have been reading this blog but if it’s not been long, know that it takes a lot more (or less) for me to feel that way. What I do feel is longing to do it up and living in it. But I’d attribute it to the desire to “nest”. What d’ya know, I am not that “cool” after all! Is it affecting my everyday happiness? No, the house isn’t ready and it is a piece of brick and mortar. Not a gadget, not chocolate, not a human being (and not in that order)
Then there was Modi’s America sojourn. I will not say I didn’t find parts of it like there was a lot of seeking validation. Then again, what is brand management and PR if not the pursuit of validation? Do I think that the speech at Madison and just holding your head up high among the Big Daddies make a difference? It will, for the morale of those who fight the weird notions about the homeland – every single day. I don’t seek validation for myself, but I do my bit to advocate the country. Fortunately, it’s not just the likes of us who do this anymore. And for that alone, I am very happy about the visit and everything that transpired that week.
And in the week before! The Mars Mission. We went to Mars, and we did it on a budget.. The wonderful irony that is India. Made me very proud.
Since we on the topic of pride.. I also found out during a big hahahihi session yesterday that some men in my office are apparently scared of me. What do you know, Lean In can be reversed too :p The feminist in me was quite appreciative of this. I did wonder if this was why the hotties back in college never asked me out (and I no longer squirm at admitting this – yay). In their defense, I can be scary. Closet Dolly Bindra, if you will. Now we have closure haha!
Since we are on the topic of accepting ourselves for who we are.. Have you read this? The more I read it, the more I realize that I am Meryl Streep. Ha! But really, doesn’t it feel good to take a deep breath and let go of the things.. The demands, the connections, the emotions that not longer make you happy? Why bother with cynicism? Can you really ever change someone’s opinion of you, especially one that’s based on hearsay or not being able to scratch the surface? I am in the business of communication. I understand the importance of positive relationships at work, at home, and everywhere else. But close to the breaking point, if you don’t give up the dance of diplomacy and say what needs to be said in the best possible way if I may add, aren’t you being a little (very?) untrue to yourself? I have also realize that much as I want to, I can never be a Lord Buddha. Things affect me a lot less now than they did when I was 23. But they still do. I can never be someone who stops reacting to things – to bad behaviour and injustice in any form. It is easier for me to walk away from it, but I cannot choose not see it. I am not wired that way, and I don’t want to be.
So yeah.. Just some random things I have been thinking about.. Things that make my world go round.
The travelogue, you ask? It will come the day I want to think about the sentences I frame. But hey, I have been doing it a LOT at work. I am not sure if I can, in leisure. I guess we will just have to wait. And watch.