.. Is that you get into them all excited but they are usually more “full of nothingness” than you are willing to admit. A friendship may have ended because of a mistake here, a harsh word/ judgment there, lack of effort, a disappointment like no other, or just plain drifting apart. And often reunions give you that one chance to redeem yourself – of a judgment that seemed right then, a mistake that was just silly, or a disappointment that just doesn’t seem important enough anymore, or that bit of effort that you didn’t make. But sometimes this supposedly reuniting conversation with an old best friend or “best friend” leaves you feeling more blank or disoriented than before. Not upset, not bored, not disappointed, no sense of loss there.. Just disoriented. My question is – what’s the point?
And probably that’s where the answer is.. There is a reason your drifted away, some sort of “hand of God” moment when He decided that that two people in the equation were just better off without each other. And everything that happened after, is proof enough. Peace of mind, clarity of thought, valuing the friendships that actually lasted. These people are not bad.. Neither are you – not all bad, to be honest. But there was something there.. Something about energies, auras, etc. You know what I am saying? Nothing else explains this.
I think I am going to trade a long list of FB friends (because after all this water under the bridge, what else will we be?) with peace of mind. Years ago, I decided that cold practicality is my superpower. It is not. I can’t have a fling-friendship. I have spent years collecting positive energy, love, and happiness around me.. And making a conscious choice to move away from everything that no longer made sense, not because those things were bad but because they had served their purpose and a crowded space and a crowded mind were no longer my things. If it’s a trap, I don’t want to get into it all over again.
Perhaps the good purpose that reunions serve is that when the next time you bump into a friend who meant THAT MUCH to you once upon a time, at least you will be civil and hug and exchange pleasantries. Other than that, this small world of everyday happiness is all that is ever going to last. A plus one here, a minus one there. And that’s enough to live by. Live for, even.