I am home alone after forever. The husband is out getting smashed at some work party and after many weeks of being surrounded by voices – good and bad, lyrical and karkash – there is suddenly some peace around me. One where I can actually hear the voices in my head. And no, it is not a bad thing at all.
So after a big Friday dinner of prawn curry and rice and just lying around, I logged on to Facebook to find a picture from over 2 decades ago posted on a nephew’s wall. A picture with some of my most loved people in the world. People who are all over the world now, people I used to be awesome friends with, those who taught me how to have fun. A bunch of cousins, my mum’s brothers kids – all of them at least a decade older if not more, and the first group of friends I ever had.
And suddenly it struck me that we have all grown up to be in incredibly different people. Different values, different life stages, different everything. Who knew just a few years ago how things would change.
It amazes me to see how far I suddenly find myself from everything that was once mine. My values may not have changed much from what I was brought up (take note of not much because there have been some fundamental changes.) but my life stage, my circumstances, and the daily grind are not what I expected. It is all very good, a tad surreal but good. I say surreal because really, how the hell did things change so much. I grew up, became responsible, made and lost friends, changes cities, changed phone numbers, changed countries, change marital status. All in 10 years. Of course it all happened so seamlessly that I never thought any one change was big enough to be life altering. But right now, when I look back, my life is nothing like it was 10 years ago. Or even 5. I don’t know if I am making sense – it is 2 AM and I have had a 13 hour day, so being articulate is not a top priority. All I want to say is HOW THE HELL DID ALL THIS HAPPEN IN 10 YEARS!
On a separate note, I finally got to travel. Cameron Highland for a weekend getaway (and whatay getaway it was – hills, chai, coffee, scones, banana leaf meals and complete peace). One of the things that I find most awesome about Malaysia is that no matter what the undercurrents are, on the surface, I have never seen such amazing diversity and seamless coexistence. No, not even in India. How else would you explain a Chinese colleague checking in to banana leaf meal places every weekend? It is a very, very interesting little country. Sometimes annoying (but then, which country isn’t?) but mostly intriguing. I also traveled to Singapore on work, and much as I craved work travel, I now know I am not made for it. When I travel, I want my pace. And when there is work to do, you really aren’t traveling, are you?
Tonight is all about getting intrigued, so I must write about this. I also completed 5 years of agency slavery a few days ago. Given my famed patience, it is a little difficult to believe that I, of all people, survived agency life for 5 years. Of course I have days when I think I cannot take it anymore. That client servicing is all nonsense and I cannot wait to get to the other side. As a SAHM (Ok – kill me. On bad days, I don’t think about how wrong it is to want to be a SAHM just so I can stop working.) or as a client. But then, it takes me about an hour or two to realize that I don’t have a higher calling. Hell, slavery is my higher calling and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. Not right now.
On that note, I am back to watching Monk again and thank God! I have been having a crazy time at work and coming back to this song and R and the one daily customary call with Ma is pretty much all that is keeping me going. That and looking forward to weekends. Friday night, here’s to you!