I have been waiting to write this all day. I have been waiting to write about just how horrible it is to see off Ma and the blue eyed baby of the family. About no matter how old she is, she will be the blue eyed baby to me. To all of us. And how proud we are of her. How much my relationship with Ma has changed over the years. From the strained guardianship of adolescence to getting to know each other to this girl bond we have now, when there is probably nothing under the sun that we cannot talk about. How warm the easy friendship between R and the rest of my family really is and how it makes me feel. How awesome it would have been to have Dad around on this trip. How I much I am missing Ma’s constant nitpicking, the blue eyed baby and my constant bickering, the girl talk, the laughter, the endless sessions of par ninda par charcha. I want to write about how I want my circle of contentment around me all the time. Ma and her neverending gyaan and the hourly bear hugs, dad and R and their goofy grins. And my sister’s soundless laughter!
But suddenly all I am left with is pin drop silence that will last the entire evening before R gets back from work. And I am left with words getting stuck in the keypad, like words that seem stuck in my throat.
I hate goodbyes.
I will just leave you with a song while I try to get rid of this feeling of intense sadness. The only song that can probably explain just why I love my family to pieces. With them around, nothing can go wrong. Nothing can bother me, Absolutely nothing.
P.S. Awesome things have been happening at work. That is my deliverance today. I will go read the proof of my awesomeness all over again. That should do the trick. Or maybe not. Argh. I hate goodbyes.