The Auntie Chronicles/ The Goddess of Small Things

Because I couldn’t decide which one of the two headings was more accurate.

(If you are still pretending to be the kind of wife that doesn’t need to be responsible for anything around the house (like I had been until a couple of months ago), just close this tab!)

(In almost 7 years of REGULAR blogging, I have finally managed to churn out my most boring, mundane, I-had-cornflakes-for-breakfast-it-is-a-sunny-day post EVER.)

Of late the quality of my posts has gone down the dumps? Why? I haven’t had much to say. And things that I want to say are either already said on someone else’s blog or I don’t have the time (I have surprised myself at how often I have said this recently. Am I complaining? Hardly!) or the patience to write. Life has been awesomely and brilliantly busy of late, what with loads of interesting work, stuff around the house to be taken care of, so much of it carried over to weekends, and all the shopping and planning to do this month – an anniversary and a birthday (not mine!) and Fathers Day (call me cheesy, I celebrate everything) and a long overdue visit from my sis – I simply love June! R has been very busy at work, and I am finally beginning to understand what people mean when they say that handling both home and work isn’t easy. However it is definitely not rocket science. I think we are managing quite well. So far so good!

One of the most awesome things in the world is to reach office in the morning and realise you are the first person to walk in. The first cup of office coffee in such amazing, and such unlikely silence is definitely the best way to kick start to the day. Highly recommended! There was a time when reaching office that early was a regular thing. Primarily to escape the rush hour crowd in the local train. But it’s easy to do that when you have a bowl of steaming hot oats (yuck!) and a cup of chai waiting for you on the dining table when you decide to bless the world with your freshly bathed, awesome smelling self :P But now mornings are a rush – with R deciding to take on the world by cleaning every corner of the house early in the morning, and the overcome-with-guilt me try to match up by pretending to be very busy making chai. LOL! A word of gyaan – refusing to boot the laptop in the morning helps! No Facebook. No blogs. No gmail. Not that early in the morning for sure! Sigh! When did I grow up? :-)

I have a saviour for my morning rush – the new maid. Parbati. This girl from Nepal. I feel bad for her – she has just moved to Bangalore from her village in Nepal. She can’t read time, speaks broken Hindi, and looks like the quintessential kanchi. I wonder just how lost she must feel in the big bad world. Tells me though that her husband helps her in the kitchen. Men have evolved. Such a pleasant far cry from Ma quietly listening to her domestic helps’ woes of a drunkard, violent husband every other morning, quietly because those women didn’t seem like they particularly wanted to change anything. That said, if Sholay was made in our day and age, I would have told my kids “beta so jao, subah subah fir Parbati didi aa jaayengi”. Seriously! No matter how much I plead with her, be stern with her, she will always, without fail, come before I can even think of getting out of bed. And once she is in, the busy body starts turning the kitchen upside down, and I am not sure what I was thinking when I decided to live in a house with an open kitchen. While this is blessing in disguise on weekdays, it can be such a pain in the wrong place on a weekend when all you want to do is sleep in late. And she can’t cut vegetables for peanuts. And I must tell you than bhindi torn from the centre doesn’t taste half as good as one that is cut well. She is worse than me! I still like her. I must be crazy!

Has everyone watched Rajneeti? Prakash Jha, my dad, and R are all from the same school. So my otherwise hardly-movie-watching dad (That’s new though, he has spent many afternoons doing back to back in Regal and Metro) saw the movie on the Friday that it released. And I, of the FDFS fame, the only one in my extended khandaan that still believes in the wonders of FDFS, hasn’t seen the movie yet! Surprisingly, I am not depressed about it. Where is the time? But this Saturday I will have to. I really can’t lose my identity in this mad rush of life (big words, no?), so what if my identity is primarily defined by the number of Bollywood masala movies I have seen on the first weekend. There is Rajneeti and Toy Story, and I am waiting for IHLS. And I missed Well Done Abba and its DVD is almost never available on seventymm and Big Flix. So I have a whole lot of back log to catch up on.

I finally managed to finish 3 seasons of Frasier, and I am glad I did. Even Niles is coming around now, I quite like him. Never thought I would, when I saw him in the first season. Which reminds me. Has any one of you watched Heroes? I started, and I couldn’t survive the first couple of episodes. Am I missing something? What’s the the fuss about?

I read something in the newspaper today, and I am raving mad. Most of the times it doesn’t take much for people to drive me there, but this one I think is not one of those small things I over react at. I read Jeffrey Archer’s interview in Bangalore Times this morning. And unless it is proved that this is case of yellow journalism, I am not going to read his books again. And no, this is not an excuse for not reading his books because I don’t understand them. I don’t remember if I do, because the last time I read Jeffrey Archer was in class 10. I think someone forced it upon me, I have never been so fond of suspense thrillers (that’s what he writes about, right? See how much I know about him?). Except maybe Daphne Du Maurrier. Not sure if I will manage to survive her now too. See Mr Archer? You don’t like India (I guess you are secretly afraid we will drive you back to your high and mighty phoren country, the Englishman that you are.), I don’t like you. Case closed. Give me an Indian writing in English. Or Enid Blyton. Any day.

Which reminds me. I managed to finish all my Malory Towers. All the books I had that is. One of these days I will go book shopping again. Any recommendations? I already told you my preference, so. It was fun to revisit Darrel Rivers and group again. I never knew that the second series of Malory Towers was released last year – with Darrel’s sister Felicity taking the lead. As is the case with all sequels, it is not as good as the first series. But the characters are nearly the same as Darrel’s batch. The names are new though. So it helps. I liked it. There’s nothing to not like.

Have you been watching the soccer WC? I prefer Indian Idol! But I gave in to the pressure after my FB homepage was full of self confessed “soccer freaks” (that only remember they like the game during WC – I think they watch it for the WAGs. I know all the abbreviations, see?). Then of course are the genuine ones. Some of my friends. They bunked/ reconsidered taking university exams because they had matches to watch all night. I say this passion for soccer in Indians comes from the lack of pressure to win. Cricket has been disappointing recently. Anyway coming back to succumbing to the pressure of watching soccer. I tried last night. But slept off. In a match between Italy and Paraguay, even I know who will win. Not Paraguay by a long shot, right? Let me go check. Ah! It was a draw. What do I know about soccer?

Am I the only one who has extremely annoying relatives on Facebook? The ones who dispense random gyaan that sounds like the back cover of the cardboard bound registers we used to scribble math sums on in school? Quotes on leadership and other such trivial matters in status updates. It gets annoying, doesn’t it?

While we are on relatives (and friends), I have a new pet peeve. Why can’t a married woman be low without being asked if she had had a fight with her husband? And why can’t she fall sick without people asking her or secretly wondering if she is “carrying“. Don’t get me wrong, my fights with R make me miserable. But it helps that our fights don’t last longer than a couple of hours. And no, we don’t pretend to be the samajhdaar couple that doesn’t sleep without resolving the fight. When we fight, we fight. And we are secure enough to know that neither of us will run off in the night if we don’t resolve the fight before sleeping off at night. That said, if I am upset for a couple of days at a stretch, slim chance it is because of a fight. And if I am unwell for over 3 days, please be aware that I am absolutely non-immune to running noses and violent coughs. And much as I want to have kids, I am not “carrying“. Yet.

Why can’t we enjoy monsoons and pakodas and chai and all the bliss that comes with it without running the risk of catching a cold/ coughing for an entire week/ getting stuck in traffic for hours/ auto drivers demanding the moon to take you home (YOUR home, you dirty people!). Not that I have to deal with auto drivers too often now. Just saying. So the other day I was galivanting in the scorching heat, when the weather suddenly took a turn, and it rained. And the next day I was coughing and sniffing and considering going on sick leave. I didn’t. But I remembered another era. When a bunch of us would take internal exams, then sit at a friend’s house till 2:30 am, and then ride all the way to Mahabaleshwar on bikes that didn’t have gears (to start with), and back, all in a matter of 15 hours. During the crazy Maharashtra monsoons. 15 hours of being drenched on the road. On bikes. I can only imagine how the wheel of the world would stop turning if I did that now. 2 hours, may be. 3 is good too. Not getting drenched and going on abnormally long drives in the pretty red ride we have – that would be something! We are getting old. OK R would not like it if I said this about him on a public forum – he is still my young and dashing Ranchi ka Rajkumar ;) I am getting old. Am I complaining, still? Not in the least :-)

Speaking of weather, I have been unbelievably lazy the last few days. I have been going through the motions of getting up, getting dressed, getting to work, cooking, and all that. But at the back of my mind I can only think of sleeping. Sleeping like there is no tomorrow. Sleeping at the risk of missing the little pleasures of watching the little maid of Nepal/ Mr Frasier Crane/ life in action. And I am not the only one. At the entrance of my office building, I see 3 dogs every single day. They don’t move. I am not kidding you. You can do a hop, skip, jump, and they will just about open their eyes, look at you sleepily, and go right back to sleep. Ok now I am talking non sense.

Speaking of office buildings, is it just me that finds these sprawling tech parks a tad bit obscene, to say the least? I mean I am all for a comfortable office to work in. But the amount of land that is wasted on making these sprawling campuses in a country where wealth is not justly (that’s a word, I just checked) distributed at all, for people to code comfortably, or make pretty PPTs, or whatever. It’s all good. But whatever happened to that thing called practicality? Usability? Usefulness? I don’t even particularly like the sprawling building societies, but I don’t think I will be able to help living in one of them. I can avoid working in suburban tech parks. So far I have managed quite well. I like to be in the middle of all the action. Know what I mean? It is more about perspective I guess. The same contrasts make sure I am always in awe of Bombay. I respect Bombay for the same contrasts that I dislike Bangalore for. Do I have to think fairly all the time? Or at all? Do I even need to start explaining that I am right? Of course I am!

Coming back to my love for Bangalore (I mean it. This city is by far the best I have lived in. Even Bombay had its faults. I live in a house/ city where I can get pin drop silence when I want to, just when I want to. That says more about Bangalore vs Bombay than anything ever will), the weather is magical. My sister is coming here in a little over 2 weeks. And I have a birthday to celebrate and plan for in exactly 1 week+1 day.

Life’s good? Couldn’t be better!

:-)

P.S. – Did you actually read this load of crap? You must really love me!

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This entry was posted in adult life, awesomeness, Bangalore, belief, bombay, city life, entertainment, growing up, life... tell it like it is, me, rant alert, weather talk. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to The Auntie Chronicles/ The Goddess of Small Things

  1. DI says:

    :o

    WHAT was that?! Man, I never got so much information in one go! And yes, I read the whole thing, laugh away!

    Anyway, I am having a terrible time at work, so hmph. But June is a lovely month alright, and so is the weather, so I can't stay pissed for long. And, I haven't watched Rajneeti which is PATHETIC. Not the movie, me not watching it.

    I don't know football, so kindly excuse. I love Archer, and now I am off to read why he pissed you off, and oh yes, if he doesn't like India, I will disown him too.

    I got gyan from The Dude's friend's grandmom as to how it was very wrong that I was not 'carrying' yet. Hehe, I didn't bother to explain much though.

    I know this comment is long, but I am very bugged with work and some people so I took a break from both. Yay me.

    I am inspired to write a long rambly post too now. :)

    Like

  2. This was pointlessness personified. Blog-ified is more like it, no?

    Can't believe you read it DI.. I wouldn't have, if I was reading my blog :P

    Chill about the stupid people pissing you off, they don't know any better. See it's so easy to give gyaan :P

    I may have over reacted at the Jef Archer thing. But I never enjoyed his books so much, so chill hai! :P

    Like

  3. roxie says:

    I read it. I love you, girl :)

    Like

  4. I love you too :D

    Like

  5. Chinkurli says:

    Aww yes, of course we love you :D

    About the tech parks – I find it obscene that they waste SO much electricity at nights and have those stupid lit fountains and all such nonsense – for what, dude? No one is in the building anyway! Well, at least most nights!

    I just LOVE Niles. His quirky ways begin to grow on you…I'm watching the 9th season now, and I think…umm…I have a crush on him :-/ Yes, I'm crazy, I know that!

    About book reccos – let me know what kind you'd prefer and I'll tell you. I myslef have been reading quite a bit of stuff related to the myths lately.

    The pregnancy thing – Argh! I had a huge acidity problem which made me want to throw up when I worked late nights, and everyone would go…”oh, any good news aaaa?” The idiots, I could have punched them!

    And lucky you to have a maid like Parvati, mine is cunning, lazy and… *sigh* I could do a 20-series post about her :P

    I like reading nice long 'random' posts – these are what blogs are for anyway! :D

    PS. Has R read this post yet? You should let us know about his reaction :D

    Like

  6. piyu says:

    How do you write such huge posts!! really? I'm impressed :)

    So glad to hear life has been treating you well :) It is indeed a lot of fun planning celebrations and family visits.

    I am the person who walks in first a lot of these days, and its awesome. No one to look at your screen behind you back, and then silence.. very good.

    And R cleans up every morning – wow. You maid is really modern :) I haven't heard such a maid story yet – just heard the drunken beating stories :(

    I liked Heroes.. first season was good! Now the series has started dragging though!

    Archer used to be my fav writer :(

    Soccer – well I refunse to comment on the enemy :P

    No relatives on FB.. Thank god for that.

    Thankfully haven't had to experience the “carrying” stuff yet. Fingers crossed.

    I just hate the amount of electricity wasted in these tech parks.

    And of course we love you ;)

    Like

  7. Are you guys for real!? I mean I get R reading this entire thing, because he is my husband and all – but why you? Why you?? Chhiii chhii! :P

    @Chinks – Oh totally.. I know what you mean. I don't know how I missed that. And those fountains – what's wrong with people? No matter how hard you try, and office is an office is and office. It's not Innovative Film City! I should copyright that statement :P Books -I like Indian authors writing in English for most part. All kinds of fiction is welcome. No self help books for me – they try to make me virtuous and I don't want to be that :P And yes, R has read my post. He was in a good mood yesterday, what else can I say? Was laughing his head off for most part, even Ranchi Ka Rajkumar :D :D You know why I love him now!

    @Piyu, I had lots of wellah time yesterday. That explains the sheer pointlessness and length of this post :D

    And I love you too, my dears :D

    Like

  8. piyu says:

    Well as you know, I had the day off so wasted my time here :P :P

    Just kidding girl, loved your post :)

    Like

  9. Chinkurli says:

    Try reading Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni's Palace of Illusions, if you haven't read it yet. It's very interesting :-)I wouldn't recommend her other books, though.

    Like

  10. @Piyu, :D :D thank u rahega!

    Chinkurli, thanks.. I'd read Mistress of Spices and Arranged Marriage and I never liked her much. Btw I finally am reading Vikram Seth's The Golden Gate. And man he is good. If you like poetry, and haven't read this book yet, I suggest do it now.. Will buy Palace of Illusions on Saturday.. Blossoms here I come :)

    Like

  11. austere says:

    Kitna likha hai!

    baap rey.

    You must have been pretty vela for going on, as surely as I am vela for reading it, every word.

    Like

  12. @Austy, ekdam baap re hai ye. Subah decide kiya ki bohot din hua lamba post nahii likha maine. So started at 10 and ended at 1:15. With breaks for lunch, client calls, meetings, emails, and a little bit of work :P Poora din dhyaan iss post pe hi tha, verything else revolved around it :D

    Like

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