I want to rediscover.
The joy of turning around clients that were on the verge of calling off an engagement, having a team of my own in the second year of my first full time job, of having a client tell me (and more importantly, my boss), that they won’t change agencies. Ever. Neither will they interact with anyone else. The joy of my first business travel and thinking I had arrived. (LOL!) The joy of more work when I knew it came to me because someone trusted me, although she didn’t really show it. The “warm fuzzy feeling” of being a “fire extinguisher”. The small happiness of learning filters in excel :-)
My first job was an amazing experience (that did turn a tad bit sour towards the end because as a norm it was possessive about its people.). I will have to accept now that things happened faster there than they do in the “real world”. That the kind of free hand I had in my work in that first job is elusive. That the amount of learning I brought back home every evening after work because of the people I worked with, is unparalleled. (That said, I did have to do a lot of unlearning after I quit too)
I want to rediscover the small happiness of small, common, everyday achievements. They are the ones that are the hardest to come by. Unless I start again at the bottom of the food chain. I tried it in my last job, didn’t I? Didn’t work! And now, I am expected to be what I am. I was hired in my current job because I told them in the interview that I was going to be decent at the work they were going to ask me to do. I wasn’t hired because I honestly told them I was running away from the IT job I was about to join in 3 months, like I did in my first job. In that first job, I was fresh out of engineering and didn’t know a thing about what I had set out to do. The learning process included taking boss’ advice on clothes and hair before client meetings. LOL! I am not surprising people anymore. And nobody is surprising me.
The small happiness of small, everyday achievements is going to remain elusive. I guess. And I might as well deal with it. As long as the work is good and fun. And the people are uber nice. I can’t ask for more right now. And this long-rant-later, if you ask me if I want to start off at that old place all over again, I would still say no.
And today is Friday. And I should be thinking about the things that will happen over the next two days, not things that happened 3 years ago. Weekend is here! Yayy!